Lights are on, nobody's home

Greetings! Um...the party is over here... Come on over, same fun, different house. ; )

Om. Change is good. Om.

Apparently I had too much time on my hands today. I've set up a wordpress blog, and I'm in the process of moving over there. Find me here:

The New and Improved Never a Dull Moment. I only wanted a new template for this site, and ended up moving. I wanted something a little more customizable, without having to learn code. So far, so good.

Pass the word.

Change is good. Om.

A little housekeeping

In my attempts to update this happy lil' corner of the blogosphere, I'm trying to keep up with things so they don't overwhelm me to the point I sit in the corner and weep.


Kat awarded me the Witty Blogger Award this weekend. Woohoo! It's truly a case of laugh to keep from screaming (and if I wasn't terrified of Tom's family reading here, I'd send the link to his sister, who is extraordinary at laughing to keep from screaming). But I really appreciate the award, 'cause I love wittiness. ; )

Tendrils passed me the Merry Christmas Award. Neither one of us has any idea what it is, or what it is for, but I'm all for holiday cheer right now. And fudge.

I ran across this idea on a blog I read, I don't remember which one, I apologize. I am a former voracious reader, and as much as I gripe about not having time to read, I really, really miss reading. So I'm going to start reading again in 2008. And here's the kicker: no parenting books!

Please notice...I actually updated my blogroll. I beg of you, do not pass out from shock. Next up...new template! {gasp!}

Yo! Jen...whar ya been?

Well, rather than bore you with the minutiae of the last several days, let me sum up:

Friday I played a drinking game with a classroom of 1st graders.*
Saturday I saw Jesus Christ knuckle spelunking and having a booger buffet.**
Sunday I played a recital and in front of God and the whole world redefined "puke-poor performance.***

I am now into winter break. A is out of school until January 3rd, J isn't out until next week. If I am a strong woman, a good mom, I won't allow my sons to play on the computer until their eyes bleed, but I am only a moderately strong woman, and only a decent mom, so they'll probably play on the computer until their eyes go bloodshot, shortly before an eyeball begins to spurt. Charming image, I'm sure.

My plan is to update my blogroll and play with my template over winter break, but we all know about best laid plans. I appear to have "offspring-induced ADD" and am unable to concentrate on anything of importance for more than two minutes before my attention is ripped away to something more pressing, like an eyeball on the verge of spurting. So I will attempt to play with the site; we'll see how it goes. I can't figure out how to save my widgets so they don't all disappear into the ether as I change templates, so until I figure that out I'm stuck (help please?). I'd also like to know how to put audio clips on the site. So if you share those lil' pieces o' information, I'll...uh...send you e-flowers or something. :)

Uh-oh...my spidey sense is tingling...methinks A's eyeballs are getting past the bloodshot stage...

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*Ok, not really a drinking game, but it was. We played "pass the book" (not pass the buck, this isn't politics). All the kids had a wrapped book in front of them, I read a book to them, and every time the word "snowman" came up, they had to pass their book to the person on the right. They also learned the meaning of the word "psych!" as "snowball" came up several times, and they had to pass back. Now, tell me this ain't a drinking game in disguise!

**No joke. I was sitting at a stoplight, talking to Tom, and saw JC in the car behind me. I had barely gotten past the thought of, "hey, he looks like the Big Dude" before he had, uh, "lunch." I think I may have thrown up a little in my mouth.

***I can't remember the last time I played so poorly. Freshman year of high school maybe. Holy Hannah, it was ugly. Tom said no one noticed, but damn, I did. If you're only as good as your last performance, I suck. I have less than a month to get over my enormous suckatude (wow, let's see how many hits I get from that phrase!), because I'm playing in the Colorado Mahlerfest (yay!!!!) and the music is exposed enough that I can't have suckage on my mind.

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Now, really, gotta save A from himself...and the Dark Side of the Force (yes, Star Wars Lego). I'm so tired of a six year old telling me about Star Wars, and it's only the beginning, I know!

Random mom ailment #132: Carpool Ankle

Symptoms: A weakness in the right ankle, a "funkiness," felt mostly when ascending and descending stairs, walking, chasing children. Occurs usually in the right ankle, but if the carpool vehicle is a manual transmission, the left ankle may be afflicted as well.

Cause: Long periods of time spent shuttling children hither and yon, most often to schools and various therapies. The twisting motion of accelerator to brake, repeat ad nauseum, is thought to contribute to Carpool Ankle.

Those most at risk: Carpool Ankle afflicts mostly mothers, though fathers and other caregivers are at risk if enough time is spent behind the wheel shuttling children.

Diagnosis: Carpool Ankle is a diagnosis of elimination. If there was no recent injury, no butt-kicking using the afflicted ankle, and no recent occurrence of "foot in mouth disease," AND there have been long hours spent behind the wheel shuttling children, then it's likely Carpool Ankle.

Treatment: Complete and total rest of the afflicted ankle, preferably up on a feather pillow. The patient will have a much higher incidence of recovery if a glass of wine and gentle foot rub are also included in treatment.

Comorbid afflictions include, but are not limited to:

iPod ear: A ringing in the ears from turning the adult music and podcasts up loud enough to drown out the unending Star Wars arguments discussions and crappy kid music from the backseat. Treatment includes getting better headphones.

Bumspreadism: An enlargement and spreading of the backside due to long amounts of time behind the wheel shuttling children. Treatment includes getting said bum to the gym.

Mustbeanadultitis: An cramping of the left hand (though in other countries it may be the right hand) to avoid flipping off the other idiot drivers while shuttling children. Treatment includes going to one's happy place.

Vehiclebruxism: The much gnashing of teeth that occurs when the children being shuttled ask for gum or mints for the eleventy billionth time in under a mile. Treatment includes chomping on the gum the children being shuttled were told was not available.

Treatment for aforementioned ailments is much rest, silence, and wine. Actually, that is the preferred treatment for all that ails ya.

Feeling the love

Robin over at Around the Island has given me a wonderful gift: the Less Than 3 award.

(hint: if you look at it sideways, it looks like a heart)

I was blown away by this yesterday. I've been feeling a wee leetle bit grumpy lately, for absolutely no reason, and then this came my way. Robin and I have become friends, for we both have difficult children and are desperately trying to not go completely mental. Oh, and a belief that red wine cures what ails ya. ;) So Robin, thank you so much.

Now, I'm to pass the love on to another. Now, I'd pass it on to Robin in a heartbeat, but I'm pretty sure I'm to pass it along to someone new. I'm sending it to Hula Doula, for teaching us that loving our fellow man is more than lip service, especially this time of year. Please, under her categories, read the posts under "stories that move me." HD is someone special. Go give her some bloggy love.

Do *you* feel safe?

In case you haven't heard, there have been three fatal shootings in the last week, two of them here in Colorado. Then there was the hostage situation at the Hillary Clinton HQ in New Hampshire a few weeks ago. Thankfully no one was hurt there.

What's going on here?

All four of these incidents had one thing in common. They happened in completely normal places, not an airport, not a courthouse, not a place you'd think something like this would happen. A shopping mall in Omaha? How much more middle America could this be? I've been to that mall, many times. It's a good place to stop to stretch on the trek to Tom's parents' house. A school for missionaries? A church?

Where are we safe?

And though the details of yesterday's shootings are still sketchy, I'm willing to bet they have something else in common with the other two incidents.

I am willing to bet the shooter(s) at the missionary school and the church had a history of mental illness.

No one likes to talk about mental illness, for whatever reason, it's "scary." But I believe we are hitting a crisis point with mental illness in this country. There are not enough services available, and those that are available are very expensive and/or not covered by insurance. Something needs to be done. I don't know what, I'm not an expert in this field, but there is no safety net anymore. Who knows if there ever was a safety net.

I feel safe in my world, but how much of that is me thinking "it could never happen to me?" When will that bubble burst? And who will it affect? And how?

And why?

A month of Sundays

This is what I want for Christmas: a full, glorious month of Sundays. Not the bizarro world of February, with its "is it 28 days, is it 29 days, for Pete's Sake someone get a calendar" month of Sundays, but a long, beeyootiful 31 days of Sunday. Not all in a row, noooo, but to be called on as needed. And in addition to the Sundays already on the calendar.

I have grown to love Sundays in the last several years…since about the time we moved into our house. I made the executive decision that we would relax on Sundays. No work, no obligations, no pressure. It is our day to do whatever we like. Or not. It's Family Day. Most Sundays we go to church, but the world won't come to a screeching halt if we don’t. Tom reads the Sunday paper from front to back, I putz around the house, the boys play or read or watch Mythbusters or Dirty Jobs. Sometimes we go out and do something, but most of the time we stay home.

In the spring and summer we may work in the garden, do yard work, or go to the park. In the fall and winter we typically watch the Broncos game in the afternoon, and snuggle up all warm in the house, laughing at the people at Mile High Stadium, freezing their bums off (this is what we'll be doing this afternoon; we got 5+ inches of snow last night and it's supposed to be a high of 30F today. Brrr…). And then, after the boys are in bed, Tom and I enjoy a glass of wine and watch our cartoons (The Simpsons, Family Guy, and American Dad) before crawling into our bed, nice and relaxed.

On Sundays we have a Real Family Dinner. This is something I brought from my own upbringing. A real dinner, something we don’t have the time or energy to do during the week. In the summer we may grill, in the winter it's a crockpot dinner or something that bubbles on the stove all day, promising a delicious dinner later, or a new recipe we've been dying to try. Ok, we sometimes do this during the week, but on Sunday it's what we usually do. Or not; tonight we're just reheating the variety of soups I've made this week, but Tom is making his Danish Sweet Soup for dessert and I'll make a batch of killer cheese biscuits. Hey, it's a day of relaxation and doing what we want!

There are no rules of "must do this" on Sunday. For one day a week, this family headed by two first-born, Type A personalities relaxes and recuperates and prepares for the week ahead. It's my perfect day, and as much as I'd love to have this attitude and relaxation every day, that would make my Sundays less loved; it would just be another day.

With that said, today is my perfect day. And I have things I want to go do…or not.

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Submitted to Scribbit's December Write-Away Contest